NOT FUNNY PEOPLE, I'M SO FREAKING SCARED.
IT WAS THE MOTHER OF ALL NIGHTMARES LAST NIGHT, HEART STILL HAS NOT CALMED DOWN. i'm hoping imogen heap will do the trick, but it's making me kinda jaded actually. ITUNES! WHY ARE YOU NOT WORKING WHEN I NEED YOU TOOOOOO! i need new ipod batts, i love my ipod, but it needs a new batt.
maybe it's a prelude to the next 16 days

OMGGG. no, must be optimistic. or maybe neutral. i am  going to make it through this year even if it kills me.
okay so maybe imogen heap makes you objective
LISTEN TO IMOGEN HEAP.
beacause when you need a break from pop and rock,  she's your girl.

considering that exams are in 4 and my school is well
" like that" i doubt anyone comes here.
but just in case right, this is in no offense to anyone in particular.
well okay, NO OFFENSE to anyone.

it's so -.- to read about Oxford and Cambridge interviews and tests and what scholarships they've applied for. i would like to go ahead and say " no one really gives a shit" but the fact that i read it (not my fault) and im writing about it, i think i do give a shit, and people actually give a shit. hahah which reminds me, wasn't my previous post about Princeton and northwestern? okay so in my defense, those are just dreams, and i haven't applied for it yet. while i see people around me going for their dreams, trying every bit of opportunity to chase after it. i guess this boils down to really being jealous at their zest and enthusiasm to pursue their well planned future that fits their insanely bright minds. not that i don't have any optimism in my future and my various ambitions. i do, i think. but i  wished i had their massive intellectual capabilities that can be compared to an encyclopedia. and i'm just rather pissed off that the world's passing by me and i'm forced to join the hustle and bustle and diffuse into society. frankly i hate society, and i'd like to form my own little world of huzzlebuzzle. so i run right? but no matter how far you run, it always catches up to you. the damn society just doesn't get off your back. but whatever.

and then there's the thing about never being contented. i reckoned if i were them i'd probably never be satisfied with the vast amount of knowledge i already contain. our innate nature is but of course to be curious and experimental. except that my innante curiousity does not venture into political policies of Obama and why bush wasn't a very good president. or what's the difference between Freud and Jung. neither does it care about how many metres venice is below sea level. okay so the only way to explain this is by saying that these people who have it in them, who has what it takes and have achieved more than needed, and still want more, and still look dissatisfied and cry out. it sucks. you get a free card at showing dissatifaction, you don't get another card at shouting out about it. you don't shout out at such reasons. you just don't. then again, on some other level, someone else is going to be annoyed at you cause you do it, despite not liking how other people do it.

and so here it goes again. the never ending, inconclusive statement on the world and it's problems. me against society and the world. typical teenage angst. i was made for punk! no, not really actually. i'm really more of hip hoppin.

so, like Panic! at the Disco puts it,
STOP THERE AND LET ME CORRECT IT
I WANNA LIVE A LIFE FROM A NEW PRESPECTIVE.